Mother Daughter Book Reviews is pleased to welcome “The Moffs” with us today. Allow us to introduce these adorable furry critters to you!
Untrue! We do. We’re the Moffs, nice to meet you.
Before you ask: The World Dictionary of Extraordinary Beings defines us as “small, mysterious, furry creatures, rumored to possess both mind-reading abilities and speed powers, as well as reasoning capabilities unseen in the animal kingdom since the extinction of the thousand-brained goldfish.”
You might have a few questions. It’s understandable. We had a few questions about humans when we first heard of you guys.
Number one: Do we really exist?
The short answer is yes. The slightly less short one is you’re not supposed to know we do. But our boss said we could yap all we wanted about who we are and what we do because no one would believe us anyway.
Number two: Do we actually have powers?
Mind reading, yes. Lightning speed, yes. Sorcery? No. So don’t believe anyone who says we can turn old socks into delicious cookies, because that’s just nonsense.
Number three: Why are we mysterious and what is our true purpose?
If we told you our true purpose, we wouldn’t be mysterious anymore, now would we?
Let me tell you why we’re here.
The four of us did something wrong. Something our boss wasn’t too happy about. And now we’re not allowed to fulfill our true purpose until we’ve redeemed ourselves.
That is, until we’ve found enough human KIDS (Keen Individuals Desiring Silliness) that can follow our blog. Only then will we be allowed to reveal our true purpose… and actually show you. If humans play their cards right, we might even spit out what got us in hot water in the first place.
So, we’re inviting you to pay us a visit, and tell all the KIDS you know about our blog.
What’s it about? Well, we write bloggies, which on top of being hi-la-rious, are also informative. Topics range from bite-sized French lessons to the six worst things that can happen during class, and pro tips on how to deal with them. We also share the very best short films the internet has to offer. Reading is like a zillion times better than watching anything, but hey, we all have lazy times. Oh, and all our films are rated G, so don’t be nervous about KIDS watching them!
Meet the Moffs
Before I let you go, I’d like to introduce you to the team.
First, there’s Herbert, our resident smarty pants. If curiosity killed the cat, Herbert would be holding the smoking gun. His brains have bailed us out of plenty of sticky situations.
Then we’ve got Theodore, who spends a lot of his time attending fancy dinner parties (he’s never invited, but he goes anyway). His love for food also carries over into science fiction. In his words: “If science fiction were a hotdog, I wouldn’t even put ketchup on it. That’s how perfect it is.”
What to say about grumpy Grover… He once booked a week-long vacation to a tropical island. Everyone there seemed really happy. Which is a gross emotion to him, so he immediately demanded a refund.
And then there’s me. I’m Millard. Have you seen my pic above? Yep, that’s a shapeshifting cloud I’m floating on. It was a gift from our boss. Do you like it? I love it. It’s like a magic carpet, but way cooler.
Whoops. I almost forgot Wesley. You’ll notice that Wesley isn’t a Moff. He’s a zombie, but don’t worry, he’s vegetarian, so he’ll never come after your brains. It looks like Wesley’s dog Chuck stole his arm again. I bet Chuck’s hiding somewhere on our blog. If you can find him, Wesley might have a surprise for you…
Head on Over to Our Website
If you’d like to visit our blog, you can click here. If you have questions, comments, or excellent jokes, you can use the Contact page. One of us will be delighted to answer you. Or, if you’d like to know when we publish a new bloggie or bedtime story, feel free to Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter. Toodle-oo!
GROVER’S EDIT: DON’T USE THE CONTACT PAGE BECAUSE I’M ON CONTACT DUTY AND I’LL BE BUSY DOING OTHER THINGS UNTIL FOREVER. HAVE A BAD DAY.